dogs and cats

what is a cat?

cats do what they want. they rarely listen to you. they’re totally unpredictable. when you want to play, they want to be alone. when you want to be alone, they want to play. they expect you to cater to their every whim. they’re moody. they leave hair everywhere.

conclusion: they’re tiny women in little fur coats.

what is a dog?

dogs spend all day sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house. they can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but don’t hear you when you’re in the next room. they can look dumb and lovable at the same time. they growl when they are not happy. when you want to play, they want to play. when you want to be alone, they want to play. they leave their toys everywhere. they do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to give you a kiss.

conclusion: they’re tiny men in little fur coats.

(credit: jokediary)

just for laughs :)

this is really random and useless but i'm still gonna blog cos i'm in front of the computer, with no mood to work on reports, food still cooking on cafeworld, and i have nothing better else to do. :|

so true!

 typical me. but i like to think my laziness is inherited.

next time no need use tissue paper or umbrella or whatever to chope seats. one cat fits all!

and the cutest of all?

alrighty. i should probably go stare at my report and force myself to type something on it. argh!

taking a break

saw this somewhere online. it had me laughing all the way down.

3 reports down, working on last one now. ARGH!

1947

it's almost the weekend~!

and to cheer you up, let me share something i came across on someone's blog.

20 strange sex laws

1. there are men in guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time. reason: under guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.


2. most middle eastern countries recognize the following islamic law: after having sexual relations with a lamb, it is a mortal sin to eat its flesh.


3. in lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death.


4. anywhere in the US, it's illegal to use any live endangered species, except insects, in public or private sexual displays, shows or exhibits depicting cross-species sex.


5. in bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but it is forbidden from looking directly at them during the examination. he may only see their reflection in a mirror.


6. in hong kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. (the husband's lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.)


7. in santa cruz, bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time.


8. in the state of washington, there is a law against having sex with a virgin under any circumstances including the wedding night.


9. in cali, columbia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act.


10. no woman may have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance within the boundaries of tremonton, utah. if caught, the woman can be charged with a sexual misdemeanor and her name is to be published in the local newspaper. the man isn't charged  nor is his name revealed.


11. in romboch, virginia, it is illegal to engage in sexual activity with the lights on.


12. it's illegal to have sex without a condom in nevada.


13. it's illegal for any member of the nevada legislature to conduct official business wearing a penis costume while the legislature is in session.


14. in arizona, florida, idaho, indiana, massachusetts, mississippi, nebraska, nevada, new york, ohio, oklahoma, oregon, south dakota, tennessee, utah, vermont, washington, and wisconsin, an erection that shows through a man's clothing is illegal.


15. no man is allowed to make love to his wife with the smell of garlic, onions, or sardines on his breath in alexandria, minnesota. if his wife requests so, law mandates that he must brush his teeth.


16. in minnesota, it is illegal for any man to have sexual intercourse with a live fish. (apparently is it okay for woman.)


17. muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. this also applies to undertakers; the sex organ of the deceased  must be covered with a brick or piece of wood  at all times.


18. an ordinance in newcastle, wyoming, specifically bans couples from having sex while standing inside a store's walk-in meat freezer.


19. the penalty for masturbation in indonesia is decapitation.


20. in hotels in sioux falls, south dakota, every room is required to have twin beds. and the beds must always be a minimum of 2 feet apart when a couple rents a room for only one night. and it's illegal to make love on the floor between the beds.

now, aren't you happy we don't have such laws in singapore? :P

... ...

also came across another blog (yes i like to blog-hop!) of someone who had just quit her job, and is basically just taking a break.

she mentions that it's not hard to type the resignation letter. life is more than just working your ass off. people just have to stop in the rat race and pursue what they really want. life is short. *plays if tomorrow never comes by ronan keating*

somewhat true. but while it comforts me to know that i'm not the only one slacking at home, i still miss spending my own money. sobs.

0334

singaporean couples.

lols got this in my mail. quite true; i see it happening to my parents all the time. X)

i used to like eric...

i was having trouble with my computer. so i called eric, the 11 yr old next door, and asked him to come over. he clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.

as he was walking away, i called after him, "so, what was wrong?"

he replied, "it was an ID ten T error."

i didn't want to appear stupid, but nevertheless inquired, "an 'ID ten T error'? what's that? in case i need to fix it again."

eric grinned. "haven't you heard of an ID ten T error before?"

"no," i replied.

"write it down," he said, "and i think you'll figure it out."

so i wrote it down: I D 1 0 T
.

.

.

.

i used to like eric...