why do i...

...always lose at mahjong? am i just plain unlucky or are my skills really that bad? boo hoo. i sure hope '赌场失意，情场得意' is true. );

good question. where am i now? where is the right place for me? lost...

i think...

...i need to stop drowning myself with chivas regal,

even though 借酒消愁-ing after losing at mahjong is a valid point.
even though dad wants me to finish up his ancient, keep-for-dunno-how-long hard liquor.
even though i enjoy drinking in my room lit by a couple of candles. how romantic.
even though saturday nights at home are the best times for drinking.
even though i love being half-drunk, love how my head spins, love how i can't stand straight, and love how i actually allow myself to think of him.

i should stop. i don't want to think of him.

riiiiggghhht. lots of hidden meanings. proves how drunk and incapable of thinking straight i am just right now. i hate every 'this time of the month'. i hate feeling emo. i hate the breakouts. period. i vaguely remember a particular conversation with a friend. i think he said whenever i have pms, i behave extra bratty/cranky/hard to handle, or something like that, but yet i don't know it myself. really meh? i know pms is no good reason, but please, if ever it happens again, excuse me. :)

anyway, this is old news, though apparently i just found out today. on one hand i think it's pretty sweet of the guy, but on the other hand, isn't it pressurizing? what if she didn't want to marry him? would she reject him and cause him to be embarrassed, or agree just in order to save him some face? nevertheless, it's sweet. lol. omg if my last day at ntu was one or two days later, i would probably have the chance to hear first hand about it, as the convocation took place right beside the admin building! geez.

on a happier note, 2 more weeks to small bundle of joy. excited!!

@_@

好不容易过了第一天。好无聊啊！一整天就读着那叠资料。说了如指掌不是，一知半解也不是。咳~ 还好今天不是星期一。有点恐惧下个礼拜，因为要开始接管真正的project了。怕怕！同事们都蛮友善的。起码不用一个人吃饭。哈哈！老爸也答应每天早上送我上班。好耶！^_^ 希望我会一切顺利。加油！

今天是七月初一，烧银纸了吗？