have deleted my previous post cos looking back, i think it was pretty awful. lols. i think i shall continue blogging normally. i don't see the point of creating 2 blogs, one for happy stuff and one for the opposite. lols.

was at dear's for dinner yesterday. poor him, waited so long for me. but then can't blame me. i also waited very long for that agent. blehss. mee likes cuddling and watching tv. lols. ^^

sooo tempted to take half day leave today. after stoning for 8 hrs yesterday, i wasn't exactly looking forward to stoning again today. but then in the morning, i got a call from grace to say that since melissa is on leave today, she'll pass the payroll stuff to me instead, in the late afternoon. so mee can't leave!! ><

lunch came and went. feeling pretty bo liao, so...

lols. i think i've been taking too many leaves. it seemed so long since i've been at the riverside. hahas. i used to think fullerton looked rather grand and nice, being a 6 star hotel. but having spent nearly 5 months staring at it, i've come to dread it already. i'm praying i don't get a job at the esplanade. lol.

oh wells. met cher and jo for dinner at marina. finally satisfied my kenny craving. i was practically salivating at the smell of roasted chicken and the sight of macaroni cheese. and the potato salad! yums. ^^ forgot to take pics tho. heex.

popped down harry's@esplanade for a drink. had wanted to opt out initially (dead beat), but in the end was persuaded by the gals. thankfully they did. i can't say i'm addicted, but i'm definitely hooked on pubbing. hehes. the atmostphere was a lil off at harry's, and a lil uncomfortable to be sitting on that high stool with heels on, but...let's find a better one next time. lols.

was kinda nice to swop drinks and try all. looking forward to the next outing again. muacks you gals! =D

it's 12.18am only, but i'm wondering why it feels like 3am already. hahas. tired i guess. so not looking forward to work next monday. haish.

early this morning i was thinking, "i must remember to blog tonight that meeshell is not tempted to take leave anymore. she's tempted to bloody hell QUIT!" throughout the 40min journey, i kept thinking and thinking why i feel like shit every morning. no nice workload, no nice colleagues, no nice environment, no career advancement, nothing to learn at all...that salary isn't motivating me to go to work anymore. i wish i could treat it as a holiday job and just pia another 1 more month for the bonus, but i can't cos it's NOT a holiday job. i'm sure i can't resist taking somemore leaves, and the bonus won't be able to cover it. i just don't see the point of staying on anymore. might as well quit and spend the extra time to find another job. i know it's not easy to find a job that i like, but at least, let me find one that i don't mind working at. not one that i hate. =.='''

so, yeah. shall be tendering in tml. doubt they will persuade me to stay anyway. lols. been sending out resumes the whole morning. so far, only one has gotten back to me. i sure hope i get a better job than hsbc. >.<

cher asked me to organize dinner this friday.
me: boo! this friday kenny u can?
jo: haha. cannot. cos you say boo.
me: *stunned* + *-_-*
lols. jo is bloody cute lar! ^^

happy m00ncake festival !!

early this morning i was thinking, "i must remember to blog tonight that meeshell is not tempted to take leave anymore. she's tempted to bloody hell QUIT!" throughout the 40min journey, i kept thinking and thinking why i feel like shit every morning. no nice workload, no nice colleagues, no nice environment, no career advancement, nothing to learn at all...that salary isn't motivating me to go to work anymore. i wish i could treat it as a holiday job and just pia another 1 more month for the bonus, but i can't cos it's NOT a holiday job. i'm sure i can't resist taking somemore leaves, and the bonus won't be able to cover it. i just don't see the point of staying on anymore. might as well quit and spend the extra time to find another job. i know it's not easy to find a job that i like, but at least, let me find one that i don't mind working at. not one that i hate. =.='''

so, yeah. shall be tendering in tml. doubt they will persuade me to stay anyway. lols. been sending out resumes the whole morning. so far, only one has gotten back to me. i sure hope i get a better job than hsbc. >.<

cher asked me to organize dinner this friday.
me: boo! this friday kenny u can?
jo: haha. cannot. cos you say boo.
me: *stunned* + *-_-*
lols. jo is bloody cute lar! ^^

happy m00ncake festival !!

lol mee took leave again. not my fault this time. my dad tempted me to. early this morning, we were on our way down when he realized his car keys was in my mum's car. and while we were downstairs waiting for my mum to come back, i accidentally let out a big sigh, and guess what? he said, "if you dowan go work then go up lah." i was like, "WAH REALLY AH? how come you suddenly so good today?" he gave me the -_- face. lols. in the end i gave in to temptation and went upstairs. tsk tsk. office people are pissed. i can feel it. hahas. ah who cares. 6 more weeks. then i'm outta there. i miss school. ><

wonder why time pass so fast when i'm at home. why can't it be like that at work as well? lol. no mood to maple today. since this afternoon, i've been watching dramas on crunchyroll. at first it was witness to a prosecution, now it's kindaichi shonen no jikenbo. lubs that show lor. kindaichi sho kawaii. hehe. both dramas make solving cases so interesting and fun. tsk tsk. compared to hr, HAIZ!

super super sianz when i think of work tml. someone, something, motivate me please!

lol mee took leave again. not my fault this time. my dad tempted me to. early this morning, we were on our way down when he realized his car keys was in my mum's car. and while we were downstairs waiting for my mum to come back, i accidentally let out a big sigh, and guess what? he said, "if you dowan go work then go up lah." i was like, "WAH REALLY AH? how come you suddenly so good today?" he gave me the -_- face. lols. in the end i gave in to temptation and went upstairs. tsk tsk. office people are pissed. i can feel it. hahas. ah who cares. 6 more weeks. then i'm outta there. i miss school. ><

wonder why time pass so fast when i'm at home. why can't it be like that at work as well? lol. no mood to maple today. since this afternoon, i've been watching dramas on crunchyroll. at first it was witness to a prosecution, now it's kindaichi shonen no jikenbo. lubs that show lor. kindaichi sho kawaii. hehe. both dramas make solving cases so interesting and fun. tsk tsk. compared to hr, HAIZ!

super super sianz when i think of work tml. someone, something, motivate me please!

finally got time to blog. went to east coast for bbq with dear and his colleagues yesterday. not bad, quite fun. hehes. but best of all was the ocean. me loves the sea. so nice to feel the sea breeze and the salty smell in the air. went to stand in the water for a while. bloody nice to feel the sand underneath your feet and the waves against your legs. i felt so comfortable, so relaxed, so...wows. lols. pity i couldn't wade into the water though. neverminds; there's always next time. =)

saw sunset also. well, not exactly sunset ba. just the sky's lovely shade of blue, pink and orange. also 'climbed' the tower at night. the horizon's ship lights looked just so nicee from up there. the sea makes me feel so small. there's so much out there i wanna see, wanna experience, wanna enjoy. sad that i'm stuck here. haish. anyways, me wanna go there again!! next time i shall persuade my parents to hold bbqs there instead of downstairs.

work tomorrow. hope i don't take anymore leaves. lol.
p/s. happy birthday di!
p/p/s. i miss my gals. =(

i really need to stop taking leaves already. 1 week leave out of 3 weeks. haish. hope i don't get into trouble at home. sianz. ah wells.

[blogging@work, 12.03pm]
i think i shall blog at work everyday. gives me something to do here and saves some time when i get back home. haish. have stoned 3 hours so far. 1 more hour to go before lunch. should i eat burger king today? to reward myself for successfully resisting temptation to take leave again. LOL. another 36 work days to go. if i shall have to reward myself everyday for resisting temptation, i'll turn into a big fat pig in no time! blehss. =p

1.45pm, back from lunch. my burger king dream was replaced with dimsum with karen. expensive lunch. =.=

suddenly i find even blogging so meaningless. in fact, everything has become so meaningless. i miss those times back then. i miss having fun; i miss slacking around. most importantly, i miss those free days. days where i could choose whether or not to attend school. days spent slacking in tutorials and dozing in lectures. times where i could do things and go places without having to account to anyone. and those outings with friends. i miss those.

我好厌倦每一件事都要报告得清清楚楚. 我讨厌没有自己的私人空间和宁静. 我不喜欢我的生活这样被打乱. 好讨厌这种被 绑着, 喘不过气的感觉. 在这种无奈的情况下, 我还发现自己是多么的可有可无. 真不知道还能熬多久. =(

[blogging@work, 12.51pm]
pretty tempted to take leave again today. sooo wanna chiong maple. >.<

thank god i wasn't in any serious trouble when i came back today, except for the couple of interviews which karen and aisha had to do for me. i feel guilty, but then again, a lil bit of guilt = 2 days of resting/mapling at home. worth it lar! and i've already finished 2 days of workload. wonder what am i gonna do later on. haish.

i feel my pekchek-ness coming back. (is there even such a word?) ah wells. maybe it's becos of work. or maybe it's becos of that thing i mentioned in the previous post. don't ask, becos i don't feel like talking about it. unless of cos, 'you' wanna clarify anything? i suppose 'you' still read my blog? though i haven't heard from 'you' for so long. i do miss 'you', and i'm sorry it had to end up like that. oh wells. f4.

sometimes i wonder why i have to blog in circles. why can't i type freely whatever i want, without having it subjected to discussion? but then, think again, public blog is lydat one gua. maybe i really should consider making this private. blehss.

on a lighter note, where's my kenny?! (",)
[end, 1.00pm]

was browsing through the internet when i came across this from an india website:
" i am interested with friendship with you can you friendship with me "
interesting~~

heard this song on the radio just now. wonder if it means anything.

unpaid leave number 5. lols. i'm hopeless. i just hope the completion bonus can cover all those leaves i've taken so far. haish. 8 more weeks; 40 more days; 360 hours more to go. looks so short yet feels so long. all for the sake of that completion bonus. must keep telling myself that it's worth it. >.< as i browse through the list of jobs available, all i see are admin/accounts/hr jobs. maybe i should really give lin's suggestion a try. really hate office life. i need some meaning back in my life. haish.

saw something i shouldn't have seen. i guess i'm kinda hurt, but can't blame anyone. what's done is done. but if gaining one thing means losing alot of others, i rather NOT have this one thing. i just hope time can help solve it. =(

btw, happy birthday kai! ^^

[blogging@work, 1.16pm]
i just realized that my blog looks weird on internet explorer. zzZz. hope i remember to edit it later.

4 hours 44 mins more to go. why does it always have to rain during lunch? and now i can't even buy back to office to eat cos it wouldn't be very nice to eat in front of a fasting malay intern. guess i'll be having coffee for lunch if it rains this month. speaking of interns, i already have so much time to stone, and now there's 2 more interns to do my work. perfect. just perfect lar. -_-''' and within the 4 months i've been here, i've seen 3 resignees who quit within the first 2 months of working here. that's how 'attractive' hsbc is. oh wells. don't want talk about office liao. it sucks.

i thought about it. i guess i was wrong. i guess i should have tried to control my temper. sorry lor. i just hope everything works out fine lar. haish. but anyways, thanks ying and di for the help and concern. appreciate it. =)

on a lighter note, my dad was saying earlier this morning about my future. -_- i can't seem to help feeling a little pissed off every time he does that. yeah i know it's for my own good; problem is, he says i should figure out what i really want and then work towards it. but yet he doesn't support me at all when i say i want to venture into the animal sector. haish. it's so hard to work things out when i'm all alone on this. i wish someone could understand. (i know jo does, at least. ^^) do i really have to be stuck at an office job for the rest of my life? if even 6 months contract is torture to me, how long can i last on a perm office job? *runs off to find someone of her own kind*

fine fine. no more moodiness. shopping later! yayness. =D and i'm addicted to subway melt. someone jio me please. oh yeah, who wants to watch evan almighty and underdog too? jio me JIO MEEE!! hahas.

jo! count me in on the south africa trip! let's aim to go together in a few years' time. only hope they still have it then. hehes. hook finger hor! i'm excited just thinking about it. *daydreams about elephants and lions* i think i seriously need a pet. LOL. anyone have just-weaned syrians to spare? =P i want a brown one, named caramel (cam-cam for short), and i shall teach her to cook! whahahaha~

okays i'm going mad. stoning-effect. 4 more hours to go. *bangs wall*
[end, 2pm]

not a good day after all. satisfied my kfc craving for dinner = 10 bucks gone. lost all chips in mahjong = another 10 bucks gone. lucky i din buy my cash. i think i have to skip lunch for the whole of next week. f4.

tata.

busy busy day today. so many interviews to arrange, so many things to follow up, so many people to liaise with. din have time to stone today. so freaking tired, but at least time passed quite fast today. i wish everyday was like that. lols.

lunched with karen today. it was nice to have company for a change, even though it was mostly her talking and me listening. hahas. we talked on a rather interesting topic: bgr. hmmms. felt pretty weird talking about it to her, but not a bad weird nonetheless. haha i'm crapping again. =\

after work, had dinner at subway with yingg. i'm always reminded of school when i go out with friends who are still schooling. envy sia. work sucks. believe me.

oh wells. movie 'no reservations' tomorrow. it's not quite the kind of movie i would pay to watch, but since it's free, why not? lols.

alrights. off to rest.

i told myself not to take leave randomly for the rest of the 2 months. but one week into sept and i've already taken 2 days off. argh!! i hate my inability to resist temptation sometimes. but can't really blame me right? the mere thought of sitting the whole day in that awkward position, the whole day of stoning and staring at the same screen, the whole day of pretending i'm busy with work - makes it so hard for me to drag myself there. and my back, my poor poor back. i wonder if i'm able to sue hsbc if i sustained long-term spinal injuries due to the lack of a proper table. lols.

okays i'm crapping. but seriously, if there's one thing i really hate about work, it's the absence of a proper table. i wonder why even interns and attachment students have tables to sit at. lalala~ anyways, work tomorrow (i hope). hmmm. maybe i should reward myself with a new laptop or phone if i manage to NOT take any leaves for the rest of the 2 months. but then, think again, it's not possible. very much IMpossible. haiz.

sorry for making you happy and then disappointing you again. sorry for being fickle-minded, and sorry for being used to doing that. sorry for not knowing you're not used to it. -_-'''

life without internet is miserable, especially when you're not prepared.
spent yesterday mahjong-ing cos my freaking internet wasn't working.
my only day to maple. haiz. >.<

HAPPY 4 MONTH~! ^^

[ lol? ]

(WARNING: overload of pictures!)

finally got to watch ratatouille.
remy ish sho fweaking kiute lar!! =D
makes me soo tempted to get another hammie.
which i'm seriously considering. hmmm.
mee wants remy lar! >.<

[ thank god for internet booking ]

went esplanade's chocolate bar after that.
had chocolate fondue. nicee~
better than that alcoholic cheese fondue we had at bistro indulgez the other time.
there were lots of mini marshmallows, pieces of bread, strawberry and banana slices.
the chocs came in milk, white, and dark.
the white choc taste a little weird, the milk not too bad.
the dark is absolutely yummilicious!! lubs it! hahas.
but sho fatty lor. next week must jian fei liaos. )=

[ the interior ]

[ the fooood ]

[ milk choc, white choc, dark choc ]

[ the zi lian pics ]

[ him ^^ ]

lalala~ tireds.
tata!

TGIF.
it's been a horrible week so far.
not enough sleep nia.
and even when i manage to close my eyes, i dream of work. wth.

so here i am, blogging in the office again.
super super bored; absolutely nothing to do at all. haish.
i really wonder what am i here for. lols.

everyone's back at work today, except mel and corine.
which sucks. because i have to sit at my 'desk'.
unlike yesterday, which was probably one of the best days.
apart from the sg/hk drama in the morning, of cos.
i spent the entire morning yesterday blogging. lols.
i must admit time passed pretty fast, even though i didn't go out for lunch at all.
went to sit at karen's desk in the afternoon.
i love that position lah. especially when there's no one in the room.
no one could see what i was doing.
and i spent the whole afternoon reading fanfics.
did OT for a while somemore. lovely!
i guess there's no more such chances anymore. ah wells.
lunch was miserable today.
had to buy food for jean. and so i spent 10mins in total gobbling up my food. -_-
lunch duty plus lunch together. haiz. can't wait for 6pm.

i think my blog's dying day by day.
cos it's filled with horribly boring work-related hsbc crap. >.<
i need a nice new pinkish blogskin too. someone inspire me!!

ratatouille and chocolate bar tomorrow. finally.
mee wants remy. i wish he was real. lol.

sho full sho full! =(
mcspicy meal + carbonara + 1/2 baked rice + tiramisu + bubble tea = fat me. sobs.
but i had fun gobbling them up. hehes.
for the rest of this week, it's detox time!

took half day leave today. was damn reluctant initially.
but in the end, i still dropped all my work for dear.
can't abandon him alone there right? tsk tsk.

where's my ratatouille?!? >.<

tired. slept at 4am last nite. tsk tsk.
went out for lunch with mingkai. ass lor. make me eat so much. fat liao lah.
went arcade (again) after that. tried to catch toys (again).
surprisingly he managed to get one on his first one buck.
at first i thought he so li hai, den i saw so many people also managed to get.
cheyy. -_-'''
but at least i tan dio one free pooh. hahas. xie xie ni~

[ milk pooh? ]

after that went yishun ah gong house.
while i sat outside talking to dear, biscuit come sit beside me leh.
first time sia. lols.

[ sho kiute *licks* ]

had a nice chat with kenneth. short one, but it helped.
thanks buddy, for always being there. =0)

oh wells. poor dear. so freaking sway. is it my fault? *ponders*
haish. dun pek chek liao. settle your stuff den come back ba.
need my help lemme know. muacks.

boring boring day today~ melissa/corine/karen on leave.
finished most of my work, made reference calls, and stoned the rest of the time.
in the afternoon, jean asked me to help her with something.
can't blog details, but it was definitely freaky to be holding a cheque for $120k.
lols. oh wells. certainly not looking forward to next week.
jean's depending on me instead of mel, who's on 1 week leave.
hope i don't get anything wrong. =(

lalala~
dear went back today.
was supposed to feel glad to have some private time, but suddenly, i'm missing him.
=p

i wonder why recently, i keep getting on the "this train will terminate at yishun" train.
-_-'''
my feet hurt. heels suck.
anyone wanna watch ratatouille? lols.