Friday, October 19, 2007

i'm sick of all these. i really wish all these didn't happen. i wish things could go back to like before; before you stepped in my life. now that it's already over, why can't i live in peace still? =(

you say my friends can ask me out so easily and yet i'm reluctant to go out with you. true. because i'm happier with my friends. i don't have to act and pretend. i can be myself when i'm with them. i'm so tired of forcing myself to entertain you, every single time. isn't it pathetic that a relationship is built on both of us entertaining each other? like you wanting to pick me up, you wanting to bring me to meet your friends, and you wanting to stick together 24/7. i know it's not your fault; you're just being yourself. we're just not compatible.

i hate it when you drag me along to meet your friends, or when you insist on picking me up. they're your/my friends; don't you feel the awkwardness in the air? can you really enjoy yourself? i can't. you force yourself not to pick me up, and i force myself to entertain your friends. what's the point?

and do you respect me as your gf? or do you merely see me as your girl whom you can rightfully touch? and in public too. i've told you many times i don't like it, when have you listened? where has that basic respect gone to? i feel like a whore. =_=

that sms. i really don't see how it equals to fighting for us. to me, it's just plain stupidity and disrespect. you're dealing with my parents. you follow their rules. if they say i have to be back before 12, you're supposed to bring me back before 12. and not kick up a fuss and tell them they should give me more freedom. you say you know you're in the wrong, but do you know where have you gone wrong?

again, that sms. to her. what kind of person would joke about something like that? maybe you do it often back there (i don't care), but first, that's my friend. second, do you know her that well? well enough to send this kind of bloody sms? and what did you say after that? you said you didn't know she cannot take a joke. you said all your friends can. you asked why my friends all so petty one. that's a nice one. thanks for insulting my friends. and after you knew i lost her (them), you said i'm better off without them. thanks a lot.

do you want me to continue? i'm not some kind of puppet you own. i already try to do what you want when i'm with you, can't you just let me off when i'm out with my friends? and so, i'm only allowed 3 hours with them? i'm only allowed to have dinner or lunch with them? i can't go walk walk after that? i can't chat longer with them? i have to report every thing i do to you? fuck off.

i don't understand why you like pulling people into our problem. you can involve your friends and family all you want, but i would appreciate it if you leave mine alone. and please, insulting my friends is enough, don't have to do the same to my parents.

stop using the 'i left everything back there for you' line. be thankful that because of that, i'm actually still talking to you. because i feel guilty, i can still be friends with you. but if you don't want to, i'm perfectly fine with it. true, i once felt loved, i once felt happy, but now, i hate to say this, i'm happier without you. now that things have come to this, there's really not much of a point to talk anymore. sorry if you can't put up with my princess attitude; i can't agree on yours as well. you want things to end on a sour note, you want to make me hate you, so be it.

to everyone else, friend or not : if i've pissed you off, or if you cannot accept me, please, stay away from me. you don't have to entertain me. i don't need that.

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