was browsing through a male-dominated forum a couple of days back and came upon this thread. it was on love and sex. the very few female forumers were saying, 'being in love does not necessarily need to include sex', whilst the males were arguing that having sex does not need love. hmm. kinda curious to find out whether it's a generation thingy or a sexist question. so tada~

polls - Take Our Poll

hahas. very bo liao right? oh wells. today's shopping was cancelled. one sick, one working. sadded. nobody want tell me somemore. luckily i asked. -_-''' tsk tsk. super sianz today. eyes really closing. during lunch, i kept telling my aunt, 'I WANNA GO HOME!!' she still purposely bring me go the mrt station. tempt me sia. heng tomorrow holiday. =P

yean! monday! suntec! lols. i envy melissa. she goes shopping practically every lunchtime, and come back with bags of stuff. i want also cannot. bleh.

some people can be sooo polite. on my way out at 6.15pm today, i heard a guy telling his colleague very loudly, "that one michelle lor. HR de." i glanced back and he still can stare at me. wth. the level is half-empty and he said so loudly, i'm pretty sure everyone heard. do i really need publicity like that? arbish.

lalala~ shall stop here. chiong maple le!

muacks dear. i hope you know what you're doing. shan't nag at you, but if you wanna talk or need a listening ear, i'm here. ^^

tired~ loads of stuff to do today. but time passed so slow again. sadded.

super looking forward to dinner. ma's birthday! had it at jack's place again. yummy! i ate so much today. growing fat le. tsk tsk. but today was nice nice. everything nice nice. ^^ pictures!

hehes. why can't it be an official public holiday on our birthdays? hmmms.

thanks dear for calling to wish ma happy birthday. sweet of you. i guess she didn't really expect you to call. muacks. =)

found this pic in my phone too. i guess i must have took it when i was bored and alone. this is where i spent alot of my lunch time just staring at the river. =X my fave haunt so far. nice, quiet, cooling. aaaaah~

dear. will support you no matter what. but i do hope you can think carefully about it. your future leh. and maybe should discuss with your parents too? haiz. actually, i don't know. the selfish part of me ish glad that you can pei me more if you come. but the rational part tells me this is nothing to be happy about. oh wells. i just wish i could help somehow. )=

super duper tired. slept around 1.30, woke up at 2.30, 3.30 and 6.30. sho nice. -.-

i guess i really shouldn't be complaining about my work. it may be boring, but at least it's giving me money for an easy job. dear seems to be more cham than me. 7 core modules+study hard+working on weekends+pei-ing me. i seem to enjoying life as compared to him. i realized i was so selfish. i only know how to complain to him when he has his own problems. sowie~

the talk this morning gave me weird emotions. you were practically telling me how i was feeling inside myself. so scary. but i couldn't help it and teared. 12 more days.

i guess things improved a little today. karen was suddenly so nice to me. don't tell me she reads my blog?! lols. and they ordered jap food today. so i didn't have to walk all the way out. but it also meant that i had to call dear in the room. luckily only shernice was around. *paiseh* jean/alice/karen was on leave today. (karen on half-day.) i enjoyed the peace. lols. also finally finished reference checks. which means, i gotta start calling up people tomorrow. i donch likes. f4. imagine me calling up the firm in india, and i can't understand tamil. oh my oh my.

mum's birthday tomorrow. i wonder where we're eating. wed shopping with my gals! looking forward. best if can at esplanade, but anywhere is fine as long as i can see you gals again. (same with dear.) thurs chiong maple. fri is TGIF! this week not that bad. quite tolerable i suppose.

told my parents about gary yesterday. over mahjong. i went, "..by the way, me and gary are together liao..." and my voice went softer and softer near the end. =P they din look too surprised. i suppose they kinda guessed ba. my mum kept on nagging that the phone bill's gonna be sooo expensive. she also wanted to know why i choose until so far. then my dad kept hushing her up. lols. cutes.

abit depressed yesterday. and this morning. now is better. muacks. ^^

i was up at 7.30am today. omfg. the most dreaded day of the week has arrived and is almost gone. already tried to maximize the day by waking up early, but it still passed so freaking fast. I HATE SUNDAYS!

looking forward to wed. cos thurs is public holiday.

sorry to bother you playing snooker. just suddenly missed you. that song at the side's exactly how i'm feeling. all the time. =(

一个人过一天像过一年
海的那一边乌云一整片
我很想为了你快乐一点
可是亲爱的你怎么不在我身边

13~

had wanted to blog this yesterday night. but blogger was down for me. so i'll just try to recollect what i felt and had wanted to write last night.

---------

i feel so bad saying that to dear. i'm sorry. it wasn't his fault.

here's a blow by blow account of the little things that contributed to my mood :
dad couldn't send me to causeway point, so i had to walk to there. not his fault, but i was rather hot and a lil sweaty by the time i reached. granny had promised me breakfast, but when my aunt came down, there wasn't any. not her fault either, but i would rather she tell me earlier so i can go earlier for breakfast.

stood all the way from woodlands to raffles place. 40mins. in heels. everyday. not nice.

upon reaching, i had to rush all the way to golden shoe to buy breakfast, and then rush to office to eat. totally sweating by the time i reached office. i don't know about you, but i don't think it's very nice to have your makeup ruined before you even step into the room.

settled my work for the morning, including the mail. there was this extra brochure on marketing courses which melissa asked me to read because she had nothing for me to do. -.- i feel so weird sitting there with my eyes half closed, watching the words swimming in front of me, while the others were busy working.

then my aunt suddenly pangseh-ed me for lunch. usually i would dabao back to office, but i didn't feel like seeing the office so soon. so i dabao-ed to boat quay to eat. can you imagine that? i was sitting all alone by the riverside eating. haiz.

i don't know why, but after lunch, the rest started to give me work to do. corine's work was fine, because she patiently taught me how i should do it, even though i wasn't very sure and kept asking her if i was doing correctly.

then karen asked me to do something for her. a very simple thing. i was supposed to enlarge and print out the company's organizational chart. easy right? but she said it in short form. which i couldn't understand. i was like, 'har? what chart?' she die die also must use short form leh. would it hurt to explain that 'org' chart meant organizational chart? i also didn't know that the photocopy machine could enlarge documents. then she gave me this weird weird attitude when i softly asked melissa for help after that.

what the fuck was that man? yeah i don't know anything. but i'm trying to learn aren't i? even though i hate my work so much, i still try my best to do nicely and properly for you right? what's up with that despising look? if i knew everything, i'll be sitting at YOUR place already. =|

it's hard to pretend that i'm enjoying work, smiling at people, answering calls cheerfully, when i'm not at all. i feel so out of place working there, or even just walking around in the CBD area. i don't seem to belong there at all. no matter how formally i dress, i guess there's something 'un-OL-like' about me that's attracting weird stares from people. i feel it.

working in the CBD area may seem glam, but along with it comes loads of stress. i feel the pressure of having to act and look professional when i'm not at all. it sucks. i feel so alone there. ):

on the way home, my mum said she could pick me up. felt a little better. upon reaching causeway point, i thought i was a little early, so i decided to go get some rose candles. i keep wanting to buy them and forgetting to do so. then my mum called and asked me to get dinner. -.-''' no rose candles after all. no time to buy le.

that's the last straw. the food court was freaking packed. in case you didn't know, i'm a little agoraphobic. pushing and squeezing amongst the people made my mood very very bad. haiz.

so overall, i'm pissed throughout the day. sorry dear. din mean to vent it on you. sowie.

super super tired, both mentally and physically. bit by bit, i learnt some new stuff everyday. but today was an overload. i thought i wouldn't have anything to do in the afternoon, considering i was reading a brochure on marketing courses for an hour in the morning. surprisingly, new work came in before i finished what i was doing. when the day ended at 6pm, i haven't even packed the welcome folders which i thought i could spend an hour on.

sheesh. i was so blur today. karen had to repeat her instructions so many times before i fully comprehended. i could almost see the look of disbelief on her face. lols. i freaking woke up at 5.30am. for a short while. that's why.

wanted to find yean after work. i thought she was still working in town. turned out she wasn't. oh wells. yean ah, next week hor! looking forward to esplanade! hehe.

i wish i could take the day off next friday. then got super nice long weekend. thurs to sun leh! omg so shiok. but i need to meet a candidate on that day. sho sad.

went to buy dinner for family after work just now. dunno why causeway point suddenly so many people. somemore walk soooo slow de leh. damn pekchek ah. the food court also. wah see the crowd headache liao. haiz.

okay this post is made up of totally random and unrelated stuff. wth am i doing?
15! =)

one more day to friday! with all that flu and cough and cramps and moodiness this week, i'm super looking forward to the weekend for my date with zhou gong.

at work, i think i've spent like, 10 hours in total, just on that handbook. lols. but i have to admit, i'm getting more responsibilities liao. not looking forward to them though. hahas. work seems a little bit more bearable now because i feel that the relationship between me and a particular colleague, have just gotten abit warmer. i used to have this feeling that she doesn't like me somehow. after that conversation the other day, she seems to treat me a lil better now. at least i don't feel that stressed when approaching her. lol. lalala~ btw, i'm so envious of melissa. she can be in heels the whole day and still look bright and cheery all day long. how on earth does she do that? =X

hmm. i told my dad about the invitation card le. he said he maybe can pop down to collect one for me. but i'm not sure if they allow. i dowan you to wait outside leh. like, you come all the way den wait outside. -.-'''

oh wells. sho tired. dad can't send me to mrt station tml. means i gotta wake up and leave early. sad.
16...16..

i really dunno what i'm thinking. suddenly i'm looking forward to go to work. because 1 day at work = 1 day nearer to june 9th. =D not too sure how i'm gonna survive after that though. lols.

today was nice. had stuff to do throughout. but i still felt that time was passing too slow. oh wells. i hope there's stuff to do tml. oh yeah, thanks buddy for pei-ing me lunch today. haha. hope you enjoyed your 'date' after that. =P

so sianz. for extra invitation cards, i have to go back to school, mondays to fridays, 9am to 5pm, to collect it. how am i supposed to do that? can someone pop down and collect one for me? or pass me one that you don't want? lols.

haiz. i can't wait for grad. can't wait for june 9th. can't wait to see dear. i confess, it's the first time i'm missing someone so much. maybe it's cos of the distance. maybe that's why the memoriies are so precious. every short call, sms, msn, or maple, keeps me going on till the next. it's ironic. because i'm one that needs people to pei most of the time. )= i know he's done quite a lot, and i'm okay. i just have to learn to cope with it. it's hard, but i'm trying...
17 days more. =X

i wonder if anyone even bothers to read about boring office life.

super super sianz. finished all my work before lunch again, including those that were newly given. so after lunch, i read the darn handbook again. -.-''' was so freaking cold today too. haiz. but at least today was not too bad. no need to answer any calls. shiok! hehe. was totally on my own as well. no one to bother. so i could leave promptly at 6 instead of the usual 6.15. lalala~

kenneth kenneth, lunch tomorrow. what say you?

hmm. dear told me he gave up the job cos he has to rush here otherwise. i feel so bad. i soo want to see him badly, but i also don't want him to do so much for me cos i'll feel very guilty. haiz. sometimes i'm afraid that he's sacrificing too much and working too hard for us that he'll get sick and tired of it very soon. you won't, will you? =(

was waiting for my aunt to collect her stuff when i saw this. bought it on impulse. don't laugh! oh yeah. 'G' stands for GAMBADE hor! =P

oh wells. another boring day tml.
18 more days? =\

i iish becoming big fat pig! had dinner at jack's place with family just now. wonder why my mum so nice, jio me go eat jack's place. steak today ish nice. so ish the potato. and peach melba. lubs jack's place. ^^

today ish bad day. early in the morning, gary was sad. i dunno how to help. i ish sad too. :(

shernice suddenly swopped lunch timing with me, so i had to cancel 'date' with kenneth. omg i feel so so bad lor. i confirm lunch timing with her first then jio you k? sowie~~

and because i finished all my work before lunch, i had absolutely nothing to do after that. i spent the remaining 4 hours reading the staff handbook. smart eh? exam also don't have so hardworking. i guess i'm stuck with the handbook again tml. i don't think the stuff i have on hand is enough to last me the whole day. -.-'''

yings, sorry leh, don't even have time to maple. blogskin will have to wait some time. dui bu qi!!

with regard to what boon seng asked, thanks kenneth! you always say the right things. i feel better. muacks! =D

misshiu dear. bai`bai.

today is hot hot hot! i so don't like warm weathers. how nice if can stay in genting. =X

accompanied my mum go pasar malam walk walk. spent like 50 bucks on clothes. haiz. saw this ring too. couldn't resist buying it. hehes.

oh wells. tomorrow! argh! i don't wanna go to work. but luckily kenneth said he can come find me tml. at least i have lunch to look forward to.

nerds are kinda cute. bai`bai.

i can't believe i woke up before 9 today, on my own! one week of waking up at 6.30am did this horrible thing to me. lols. feeling super sianz now. i'm sooo dreading work tomorrow. was chatting with jo late last night, and found out she doesn't like her job as well. all along i thought she was enjoying what she did cos she was blogging so enthusiastically about it. lols. seems like only ruilan and jolin likes theirs. =X

i should stop complaining about my job. i'm sure it's pissing people off. but i just. can't. help. it. argh! looking forward to july 27th. haish.

have to go out later to ah gong house. i find it very waste time sia. cos i just sit there and do nothing. my so precious weekend time spent on doing nothing. wth.

also chatted with boon seng (long-lost maple buddy) yesterday. i wonder if he reads my blog. lols. apparently, he asked about gary, and he asked me a couple of points which i was somehow unable to answer. "why you want long dist r/s? he cheat on you you also dunno right? what's the point when he's not there when you need him the most? how far are you willing to trust him? how far are you willing to go for him?"

boon seng, i don't know.

oh wells. nothing left to blog. last two points.
1) i joined sgfriends for fun. so vote for me. button's at the side. or click here.
2) i'm placing ads from nuffnang, which lets me earn money based on the number of unique visitors. so do help to 'jio' people to read my blog everyday k?
xie xie. arigato. kamsa hamida. tank yew. =D

TGIF! hahas. finally, i truly understand the meaning of it.
one week down. 9 more to go. =P

no mood to work today. kept thinking if gary was really okay or not, cos his voice sounded weird this morning. but surprisingly because of this, i didn't really pay much attention to the time and so today was rather smooth. did filing the whole day. stand so long sia. again surprisingly, feet don't hurt much, except a couple of new blisters. hmmm. but sad to say, i've almost finished filing my 10-cm pile of papers. what to do next week? bleh.

my big big big boss is coming down from hongkong next tuesday. melissa told me it wasn't convenient for me to be in the HR room, so i have to sit outside and do admin. i wonder what admin stuff can i do for the whole day. can't step in HR leh! sadded.

actually melissa didn't have to tell me, cos i already knew. i was in the HR room, and my boss was telling the rest in her room. she said so loudly, "shernice can stay, but michelle cannot. get her to go out for the day."

i was thinking, like, 'HELLO?! is that coming from a senior HR manager? i'm right here leh. i can hear what you saying. you're treating me as invisible leh. so rude!' zzZz.

but anyway, i should be getting used to this. i have to. 9 more weeks of similar treatment. lalala~ i was discussing with my aunt during lunch about office life. she was saying how she overcame all the difficulties when she just started out. everything i say, she can rebuke. until i said, "i find office people all so fake." she diam liao. lols. office life sucks, for me.

argh. finally i have my life back. for 2 days! oh wells. better than nothing.

misshiu. bai`bai.

p/s. i might be going for the grad ceremony after all. even melissa said i should go. and i can escape 1 day work. hmmms.

i iish sho tired, i don't know where to start. my feet hurt so badly, and i iish sad. ='(

workload today was not so bad. at least i had something to do. but that something meant that i had to stand all the way from after lunch to around 8pm. 6 hours plus in heels. i even wore the shorter one already. haish. i can see so many blisters now. luckily they don't hurt much. this afternoon, i also realized i had 2 cute little pinkish bruises on my fingers. haha. i don't know when and how i got them though. i think it was when i slammed the cupboard door on them the other day. they hurt when i'm searching for files. haiz.

working there = physical + mental torture. can't wait for 2 and a half months.

oh wells. finally i'm not alone today during lunch. my aunt sho nicee. haha. at last can have a proper meal. bur hor, working in the office makes me fat. i can see fat appearing on me le, even though i'm more or less standing. tsk tsk. scared later ppl dowan me le. =X

bleh. silly gary locked himself out of his room. lols. ke lian.

kenneth, i working at hsbc building. opposite fullerton de. hahas. dunno where i work still offer to pei me lunch. so wei da sia. ^^

yings~ time passes so slow. i think poly one not so bad right? here really very jialat one leh. i hate work. can swop? lols.

p/s. i hope you don't find me bothersome, calling you everyday, but that phone call's kinda what keeps me going throughout the day. misshiu. )=

p/p/s. crying helps me release pent-up stress and frustrations, so don't panic if you hear me suddenly break down.

p/p/p/s. last one! not gonna maple today. sorry. very tired. tty tml. bai`bai.

NO LIFE NO LIFE! i agree with you ruilan, working leaves us with no life. wake up, work, eat, work, eat, sleep. and the cycle repeats itself day after day. so interesting. sense the sarcasm. i only have a couple of hours left after work and before sleep to use the comp, msn and game awhile. wth.

when i talked to yean in the afternoon, she was saying, "i think you very suitable for office leh. so your this job, perm liao ah? not working night safari le?"

erms yean ah, I AM NOT SUITABLE FOR OFFICE LIFE! i'm dreading waking up every morning. the minute i step in office, i'm counting down to lunch when i can call gary. after lunch, i'm counting down to 6pm. i don't know why, but time passes so freaking slow. i already try to do slow slow le leh. haiz.

and the night safari thingy. i hope they call me 2 months later. =X

today is super super sianz. majority spent filing documents. standing and squatting. now my feet hurt badly. but luckily, my butt doesn't hurt much today cos i din sit very long. ^^ the files kept hitting my injured finger, and i got a few more paper cuts. but i put plaster le!! hahas.

i'm dreading tomorrow (again). melissa's going for a course in the afternoon. which means, nobody's gonna be around to give me work. i hope she gives me a PILE of paperwork to last me 4 hours. )=

only 3 days and i'm like that. how to last 2 and a half months?

p/s. kenneth, i got 2 lunch times, either 11.45-1, or 1-2.15. lemme know when you can. i think i'm alone everyday. (except tomorrow) thanks loads buddy! =D

work is freaking boring today. my pc still wasn't set up, and i have to do paperwork again. filing is okay, just that i keep forgetting my finger was already cut from yesterday's filing. the files seem to aim my injured finger only. -_- furthermore, i dunno why they still need fans in the room when the air con is so cold already. haish.

but melissa said i was doing quite well, and that i do things quite fast. i see irony, cos i'm doing exactly the opposite. simple things which i normally do in 5/10mins, i do for like, 30mins? cos if i finish too fast, i got nothing to do. =X luckily by tomorrow, i'm confirmed a desk and pc, and prolly a phone too. sad. can i not go to work?

saw this in morethanwords at causeway. sho cute. bought it for fun. pic very blur, but..you can see what it is right? bleah.

argh! kenneth! when are your working days? can lunch with me everyday? LOL. i so ke lian leh. dunno why they don't have the habit of lunching together. don't they find it qi liang eating alone? i wanted to lunch with the other contract gal downstairs, but i don't have her number, and she has her nice colleagues to lunch with. argh! lunchtime is only good for calling gary. everytime i call him, i feel like crying. *lonely~~ i am so lonely~~* =D speaking of which, my bill this month sure gonna burst liao. haha. die die must tahan the job, then got money pay phone bill. ^^

i'm missing school. i hate work.

tired and sleepy. drifted in and out of sleep last night, had weird dreams about mahjong and maple, and finally when my alarm rang at 6.30am, i felt as though i hadn't slept the whole night. i guess i was too nervous le ba. hope tonight won't lydat le.

first day of work. spent reading p-files and filing documents. halfway through the day my eyes were practically closing liao. oh wells. once my pc is set up tomorrow, i'd prolly have loads of calling to do. i don't like chasing people for missing documents. machiam loanshark pressing for payment. tsk tsk.

hmms. my department people are nice. rather friendly and willing to teach, especially corine whom i thought looked very fierce. but she's nice. so is melissa. and karen. and clarissa who was nice enough to show me where to eat. haish. lunch time was so pathetic. i thought i could more or less eat with the SMU internship student, but both of us had to take turns to answer phone calls. the rest got someone to dabao back; left me alone. wth. so qi liang sia. -.- in the end had to dabao back - one mere chicken pao and a slice of papaya. how sad. when i called gary during lunch time, i was really on the verge of crying liao. first time i've felt so stranded alone in an unfamiliar place. haiz.

i miss attachment! at least there are nice and friendly people in other departments like engineering, warehouse, logistics etc etc. unlike here. all office. shenton way office somemore. everyone's working hard trying to climb up the corporate ladder. become abit unfeeling liao leh. at the moment, i guess the necessary 2 and a half months is somehow tolerable. 6 months is hard. a lifetime of office life is impossible. i don't understand why anyone would like such no-life jobs. *no offense* i wonder if the $ is even worth it. =.=

hmmm. my previous post wasn't trying to force you to make money and come over. i was just...ranting and sprouting nonsense. don't have to pay much attention to it. really. don't let it affect your studies can? i very worried for you leh. =x

oh wells. only the first day of work and i'm dreading tomorrow. argh!

祝天下母亲们, "母亲节快乐"!

明天是我第一天上班, 好紧张啊! 第一份工作, 第一次在大公司做; 感觉好恐怖. 虽然我很担心会做不好, 但是我还是希望能够撑到最後. 祝我好运吧! ^^

昨天, 我和他谈了我们之间的问题. 那个距离问题. 他说, 谢谢我明白事理. 虽然, 我嘴上说着 "无所谓, 我明白", 但是心里难免有一点不开心. 我想无理取闹, 想要他常过来陪我. 我不否认我真的很希望他可以在我身边, 不过既然我已选择了他, 就必须也接收这一点. 我不是不想亲口告诉他, 而是没有勇气. 我缺乏安全感, 也很害怕, 但我也不要成为他的负担. 我不想他为了赚钱而影响到学业. 有没有人能教我, 应该怎麽做呢?

p/s. sorry to those who can't read chinese. get someone (not me!) to translate it for you if you're interested to read. otherwise, just ignore this post. lol.

gary wanted me to blog. so i blog lor. =x

woke up at 6plus this morning, by the rain. couldn't sleep back cos the rest were too noisy getting ready. some asshole was watching tv so loudly somemore. it wasn't us because i could still hear the noise after they left. zzZz. must be the neighbours. =x

popped down paradiz centre to find fyn. it is sooooo far from the mrt can?! -_- can u imagine i walked the same stretch of road 4 times today? bleah. by the way, i mentioned fyn has a super cute voice right? it sounded even more cuter in person. lol! and, no offence, but this agency looks better than peninsular plaza de.

after that went down raffles place for interview. couldn't find the building. lols. i'm really bad at directions. called up my aunt for help. she and her colleagues were like, 'har? hsbc building you also dunno where ah?' tsk tsk. interview at 11, i reached at 10.30. hehes.

melissa iish nice! very friendly. her voice also quite cute sia. *jealous* this interview was wayy better than NUS de. i like melissa. i was thinking, how nice if can work under her. hmmms. short interview too. finished before 11.

was stoning on the way home when fyn called. actually i was supposed to call her, but i forgot. ssshhhhh~ =x she told me i got the job (xie xie melissa!) and i needed to pop down to sign the contract. -_-''' halfway home le leh! but i went back paradiz centre anyway. that explains the 4 times. sho tempted to cab home. but i figured out that cab fare could jolly well pay for my elephant if i could just tahan abit more. lols.

speaking of elephants, i told myself last night that if i managed to get this job, i'll splurge on an elephant. ^^ i want flying pigs tho. hahas. because this job pays abit more than what i had expected, i wanna last the whole 6mths to get that extra 1mth bonus. i want i want! pweese pray that i don't kana kicked out. *prays*

and guess what, the office is over at raffles place, opposite fullerton. and where is fullerton? opposite esplanade!! =) i mish esplanade. sooo near...yet soooo far. tsk tsk. -.-

only drawback about this job is that cos it's a bank, i need to wear abit more formal, instead of the jeans and t-shirts i always don back during attachment. i'm becoming one of those OL le! zzZz. girls, want shopping? =x

now that i've finally got a full-time job, i cannot maple the whole day liao. i must sleep early liao. i must wake up early also liao. argh! f4.

last last. when i told huo leong last night that i apply HR job, he went 'wah you so quiet apply HR.' hmm. ya hor. i still remember back then, outside the room, just after itp briefing. i told yean, 'HR is my worst and most hated module, and yet they still post me to HR department.' the tutor was just behind. bleh. can't imagine i applied HR and admin jobs all the way ever since.

oh wells. start of something new? first office job. pray it lasts. (=

i'm loving gangsters more and more. 20 eqs today, including a scroll. botaks lubs miie!

got called up at 8plus by fyn to go to an interview. i hate these last minute things, cos i don't like to rush. so pushed it to later. argh! 9.45am at town. must wake up at 7.30am sia. f5.

hmm. i think my laptop's dying liao. i wonder if i can still bring it to school if anything happens. =x

oh wells. short post today. anyways, gary passed all his papers this time. lucky you. so yeah, iie iish officially attached liao. xD

i woke up at 9.30am today leh!! hehe. ^^

today is equipment-day! hector dropped 2 for me within 30 mins, and i got another 15 eqs over at street 1, including that super kawaii plastic bottle. nicee~ let's hope it drops red brick for me tomorrow. hahas. i guess it may not be alot, but compared to golems, gangsters are wayy more generous. by the way, paiseh din help you trade hor. she afk in cash shop, then later log off liao. can't catch her.

hmmmm. someone from success resource centre called me just now. her voice is so cute lor! can almost imagine this small little japanese doll-like gal. lols. she say got contract HR job for me. but at town leh, sure wun want me de. =X

oh wells. i is tired from mapling the whole day. off to bed.

p/s. random stranger in maple came up and said i looked cute. 12bucks worth it! =D

nice nice song. think zhu intro-ed it to me long long ago. meaningful lyrics. i like. =)

i wanna go out! i miss shopping with my gals. i miss esplanade with sasa. i miss crapping and laughing with kenneth. i miss poking peekaboo eeyore at suntec toy'r'us. =P how nice if i'm paid to go out and have fun with friends. lols.

was supposed to go out later. but cancelled. so hard to meet up now that everyone's working (except me). yean ah, i promise to consider carefully whether or not to go for the grad ceremony k? don't come call and nag at me everyday hor. i will freak out one. but really, i din expect you to want to go for the ceremony leh. hmmms.

i should really stop waking up in the afternoons. time passes so quickly. hmm. i need to sleep early too. oh wells. easier said than done.

wth. bo liao post today. =\

sometimes i feel that i'm the kind of people who takes ages to come to a decision, shuffling to and fro from the alternatives. but once i reach a decision, nothing's gonna change it. i always wonder why after making a decision, i still ask others for opinions. do i really need more alternatives, or am i just finding more reasons to reassure myself that my decision is right? do i want to hear others' honest opinions, or do i just want them to say what i want to hear?

why do i have to be so stubborn? i know my decisions are often not the best, and i'm simply being my usual willful self, but i can't seem to bring myself to change. perhaps subconsciously, i don't want to change because i'm happy this way. i know this is one of the reasons why i never seem to grow up, but then again, maybe i don't want to grow up at all.

i really don't wanna step into the working environment where everyone's just wearing a mask to hide who they really are inside. i hate pretend smiles and fake kindness. i dislike sucking up to people. i don't like acting friendly with people i detest.

i just wanna be who i am. i just wanna do something i enjoy. i dun wanna force myself to go to work every single day, and then start to countdown to 6pm the minute i step in. which is why, i think, i really really really need the zoo/night safari job. i cannot imagine what else i'm willing to do for the rest of my life.

i'm not going for the interview tomorrow (later). even if i go and get the job, i'm not gonna work there anyway. i don't like it. i don't like her. yes, i'm being unreasonable. willful. whatever. but yes. that's who i am. don't ask me why. i don't know.

i just don't want to. full stop. end of story.

if you're thinking you don't seem to know me anymore, or that i don't seem to be that blur sotong innocent meeshell you used to know, congratulations. you and i have just understood me a little bit more.

there's more to come. i'm discovering more and more about myself everyday. it's scary. but it's after all, me and myself. i am who i am inside. not everyone will like it. but i just need one person to tell me that it's okay to be myself, and that is enough.

maple is sianz. very. -_-''' boring day today. mapled. eat. mapled.

grats gary for passing that paper which you had initially given up on. you can do it if you want to. next time don't give up just like that. 3 more. :)

unpleasant encounter just now. not me, but my aunt. she was walking over to our place, and had to walk past the table and bbq pit. there was a guy sitting there and his chair was blocking the path. my aunt said excuse me twice. first time he pretended not to hear. the second time, he shouted at my aunt to walk another side instead. he even called her 'kayu' lor. bleh.

his wife later hushed him and made him let my aunt walk past. when she came up, my aunt was so hopping mad. she called the security to warn that guy too. my dad was pissed, so he went down with her. apparently, that guy was only a guest lor. how dare he shout at us residents. my dad scolded so loudly that people around came out to see what happened. lols.

first time i've seen my dad like that. he even said he don't mind hitting that guy too. wows. my mum also asked me to get people here to beat him up. lols. in fact, i wanted to do that too. my evil side coming out.

i wondered why my aunt came up just now. if it was me, i'd prolly stay down there and call everyone down. then i'll start on my san zi jing, and if that didn't work, i'll stuff a few prawns in his damn mouth. and then station some people outside to beat the crap out of him up once he leaves the place. bleh. i ish evil!

lol. okay i'm kidding. but seriously, i am pissed with that guy too. i'm pissed with all those that sit in the middle of that path, refusing to budge. although that place is only occupied during weekends, i've met my fair share of these idiots. sometimes i reeeaaaaallllyy feel like teaching them a lesson. like, pouring hot soup on them and saying,

"oops! paiseh lah. you don't let me pass; i bo bian must squeeze through. so accidentally spill little bit. aiyah my soup wasted liao."

muhahahahaha. anyway, that asshole apologized in the end. tsk tsk.

i used to think that i could grab a great bargain when it's near closing time at the supermarkets as the sushi would be going at half or almost-half price. because those sushi look so tempting every time i pass by. after today, i think i'm gonna change my mind. when my parents came back at 9.30pm, i was soo looking forward to my dinner cos i was starving, and i was delighted when i saw the plates and plates of sushi. to my disappointment, all of them weren't up to standard at all. seriously lacking in flavor and freshness, and an absurd amount of rice. -_-''' not nice at all. i couldn't even finish what i could normally eat twice outside. tsk tsk. ruined my appetite.

maple is freaking boring, and so is audition. i'm lazy.

got a call from someone. apparently she told me sherry had referred me to her. it's a HR position job also, but she wants an experienced one. nevertheless, she asked to see me on monday. i know she's probably giving face to sherry only, cos she haven't even seen my resume. she also asked me if i had any HR experience, and i just told her, i only had the attachment in HR. she laughed and said, that's not considered experience. i was wondering, when did i mention to her that i am experienced? weird woman.

another point. why do employers all ask for experienced employees? then, where do the inexperienced ones find experience? hmmm.

spca would love this.

back from dinner an hour ago with winny, judy and sherry. lols. went ang mo kio for claypot dinner. heng not steamboat. was freaking hot. lols.

after that went kbox. first time there. bleh. i din sing at all, but the rest did. never knew winny could sing so well. lol. heard alot of songs, which brought back memories. songs like 最近. oh wells.

pic pic! only 1 on my phone. more on winny's cam, but gotta wait for her to upload it. here's me and winny. i'm gonna mish her. =P

girls, you all really wanna go back for the grad ceremony? can i not go? maybe i meet you all after that? lols. the robe. i dunch like leh. *jialat*

p/s. sherry says she finds me and kenneth very compatible. we do meh? LOL. -_-'''

p/p/s. almost forgot to mention. i can't use my noob char in audition anymore, cos just this morning, i was feeling rather not happy. dunno why. this zha bo stepped on my tail, so i bit her. (aka quarreled with her). so now that nick's probably blacklisted by her liao. ah who cares. i have my main. =)

attempted a new princess blogskin yesterday. it looks quite horrible in my opinion. i didn't even know what on earth i was doing. lols. i guess that 'lil princess in me' suddenly came out and this was what she did. oh wells. go here to download and use it if that 'lil princess in you' wants you to. ^^

nothing much to update. except that i leveled up in maple. one more level to holy crossrings. =P golems rule; raiders suck.

dinner with winny and the rest tomorrow. yay-ness!

interview on friday (most probably). linda forgot to tell me what job was it. and where. if it's like that redhill thingy..oh wells. bleh.

i'm bored. and tired. reading julius caesar now. nice story. =)

happy labor's day to all. it doesn't really apply to me though, but who would say no to a public holiday. =P

went out for dim sum brunch with the whole family this morning. 8 of us ate up to $190. madness! they say it's cheap compared to xin fu yin cha, where 6 of us ate $180. -_-''' i would gladly exchange this $190 for a few more hours sleep plus a 80c packet of kosong mee. i don't like dim sum. nothing much to eat at all. bleh.

it was all the way over at redhill. and due to my aunt's sotong-ness, we went round and round searching for the darn place. haish.

first thing i noticed when i sat down, was the chopstick holder. they were using all those antique tables and chairs, and on the table was this..lovely..chopstick holder. impressive.

can you imagine how much we ate? still got 3rd and 4th rounds somemore. omg. scary lor. see liao also full already. tsk tsk. my ah gong also ordered deer meat. ke lian de deer. overall, the food not nice to eat at all. LOL. waste my time.

if i'm not needed for mahjong later, i'd prolly head in to maple and try to level up by today. possible? hmm. XD

p/s. couldn't sleep last night again. i wonder if i had made the right choice.