remember me this way

finding solace in comforting tarot readings, soothing music, and the fact that at least one person bothers to find my blog. :)

dinner+shopping+pubbing

dinner at new york new york, shopping, and pubbing at harry's turned me into a happy gal today (ok make that yesterday). lol. not to mention all the fun and laughter, and the two eye candies at harry's. ^_*

how i miss pubbing. how i miss the taste of long island. this is the only time i find working worth it.

i'm okay

qn: why did mushdad divorce with mushmom?
ans: cos everytime he tracked her, she was at someone else's house.

hur hur. never mind if you don't get it.

i'm lamely bored, or boredly lame. whatever. A is going on half day, cos B is on leave and there's no one to talk to. C just came back from leave and is complaining she's bored. D, here, is also super duper bored to tears and wonders if she should follow A on leave. tsk tsk.

buddy buddy, thanks for the super short talk last night. lol. i (still) dunno why it's hush-hush, but, take care and have fun over there! hope to see you when you come back. (:

i should go dig up all my long-lost friends. maybe i'll get back to who i was back then. i see two choices. fake ignorance, think that everyone is my friend and gets hurt when any one of them decides to turn against me, or just ignore everyone and live contentedly in solitary-land. i'm tired of sifting and filtering, of suspecting and guessing. i guess i'll probably go with the former.

so yeah..i'm okay now, if there's anyone wondering. hmmm. buddy did seem abit worried, or was he...not? *shrugs*

i should stop driving myself nuts. ha-ha. dinner, pubbing, movies, maple! brokeee, which is why i choose to stay here in the office and rot instead of taking leave. tsk.

speaking of maple, 16 more levels!! gosh. can't wait can't wait...*chants* by the way, the joke above..mushmom spawns at someone else's house, if you don't already know.

i'm babbling nonsense.
ciao.

我会学着放弃你

i think i look like a ham-and-cheese sandwich.

because that guy at the cafe knew what i wanted before i even opened my mouth. and no, i do not eat there everyday. only when esther isn't around. i wish she was around more often, considering i blasted 8 bucks for lunch when it could feed me 4 lunches if she was here. =x

start of a bad day.

somehow i managed to walk straight into a metal slope, successfully breaking my big toe. hur hur. just joking. but it did hurt, for a while! lol. 

i should stop mapling. had planned to game till 1.30am every night to maximize my slot, but have already cut down by an hour. (what a waste!) why do i still keep yawning? ._.

not sleeping well. i'm probably still bothered by it. not just me, them too. the atmosphere was just so weird. i can feel it. i know there's nothing i can do 'cept grin and bear it, but i guess i needed some sort of reassurance from someone standing on my side, i think. i hope. thanks....buddy.

what's that i see? insecurities? ha-ha-ha. sometimes when i sit back and think, what happened to that girl back in school? what happened to that girl to used to walk in the middle of the group, rather than behind the group now? what happened to that girl who didn't bother how others see her? what happened to that girl who tried to be friends with everyone?

if innocence and naiveness could bring me happiness, i'd rather not learn the hard facts.

"not everyone who shits on you is an enemy.

not everyone who gets you out of shit is a friend."

hur hur. 真真假假, 假假真真. how do i tell? you trust this person with your secrets; he uses it against you. you trust this person to stick up for you; he chides you instead. you trust this person to understand you; unfortunately she doesn't.

i hate to admit this, but sometimes, i do feel small and lonely. i'm not alone though; i have people around me. friends. well, friends, who talk to me, joke with me, go out with me and et cetera. but who can i trust really? i don't want to doubt people, because i know it's not a nice feeling, but how do i know who are the ones that won't hurt me anymore?

don't mind me. this is just one of the times i get sick and tired of having to guess who's really there to support me and who's just waiting to see me fall.

*jokes* that's why it's always best to work with animals. they don't scheme or plot against you. hur hur. one step at a time now, girl. :)

new york new york!! *drools*

even if it isn't, tell me that cookie was real.

reflections

7 years ago, it meant so much to me.
7 years later, it still means so much to me.

who is that girl i see, staring straight back at me?
when will my reflection show who i am inside?

goodbye dreamland; welcome to reality.

notes to self

1. get more sleep.
2. what happened today is NOT your fault. stop blaming yourself.
3. what's gone is long gone. stop holding on to it. he won't come back.

=/ i miss him.

horton hears a who

horton hears a who is super hilarious! 'nuff said. must watch! :D

"in my world, everyone is a pony, and they all eat rainbows, and poop butterflies."

spiderwick next. brokezzzzzz.

just ranting

[rants]

i know i shouldn't be complaining about work, even more so at work, but i'm so freaking pissed and frustrated now.

been staring at the screen the whole day for mon, tues and today. that's almost 24 hours! doing nothing but going through each single contact in the (ntu) president's phone book. i don't know who to direct my screams at.

president? telephone numbers are merely there so you can press call. who cares if they look nice or not. now just because you think the format isn't pretty enough, i have to go through every single one and edit it to your liking? oh man...

the person who entered the info in the first place? can't you enter it correctly? numbers, address, words; most of it is pretty much messed up. don't you read english? zzZz.

yes it's a simple task. a simple boring task. but you'll get tired of it soon. there's not 100 contacts, not 200, not even 300. but a whopping 1. 6. 1. 9. of them. my poor eyes. my poor dead brain cells. wasted on editing phone numbers. oh and not only that. i even have to search for the dialling codes for overseas numbers. to make things worse, each country and state, has a freaking different dialling code! *bangs wall*

i hate microsoft office outlook. ._.

[/end of rant]

back home now. i'm beat. thank god i finished the contacts before lunch, so i slacked all the way to 5plus. that's when work came in. oh wells. had a little private talk with susie. let's hope some good news come my way. :)

for animal lovers, here's a pretty interesting vid on youtube. click here. and i so totally loved the song teardrops on my guitar. she's so pretty! lols.

teardrops on my guitar

Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see
That I want and I'm needing everything that we should be
I'll bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about
And she's got everything that I have to live without

Drew talks to me, I laugh cause it's so damn funny
That I can't even see anyone when he's with me
He says he's so in love, he's finally got it right,
I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do

Drew walks by me, can he tell that I can't breathe?
And there he goes, so perfectly,
The kind of flawless I wish I could be
She'd better hold him tight, give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky cause

So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down and maybe
Get some sleep tonight

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do
He's the time taken up, but there's never enough
And he's all that I need to fall into..

Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see.

random thoughts

i'm obsessed with chopsticks in my hair. hahas. girls with long hair: try using a chopstick to tie your hair instead.
1) no more ugly rubber band marks
2) easy to tie - twist and poke
3) easier to remove - just pull

lolx. alright alright, i said it was random! ._.

esther was on leave today. her son fell ill. hope he gets well soon! busy busy the whole day, though i could still msn and surf the net at the same time. i can multitask! :) come lunchtime, i happened to pop in loretta's room, and, knowing esther wasn't around, susie invited me to lunch.

it may not be a big deal, but compared to lonely lunches at hsbc and ecsf, this is indeed a refreshing change. it's such a nice feeling, to know that there's someone to fall back on when your usual lunch partner is on hiatus, though i sure hope this doesn't happen too often. i prefer bitching with esther. hahs.

nice little chat we had there this afternoon sasa. thanks for the advice; they made sense. thanks for being there. *muacks*

tempted to drag some girls to this party this weekend. free drinks plus free ogling!

lol. relax. i kid, i kid. =x

time for bed. i can barely keep my eyes open. soo tired. :( nite nite!

henesys.com

was too bored at work today, so again i went browsing ppf. got kinda interested about this particular type of siggy that alot of people were using. it shows your rank, exp, level, and char. out of curiosity, i went to the site - http://henesys.com/, and i have to admit, the sig generator's pretty cool. and the best part? it updates automatically. yep, every single exp you gain in game, it updates for you (maybe 30 mins later tho) so you don't have to edit anything. may consider switching to this cos there's a pink one! ^^v

after reaching my lv100 goal, i seem to have lost all motivation to chiong. i only gained 3% last night!! ._. though i played only like, 15 mins? lol. maybe if i get a cash hat to cover up the fugly...thingy...on my head, or get my pet even though it works like crap, or..or...i quit maple then. lol.

xiong xiong (and guild) stop tempting me with cabal! you know my lappy can't support. zzZz. lucky i don't quite like 3d games. but the graphics are cooooool. argh!

i think i'm getting old. back in school i could go shopping or movies 2 or 3 times a week and turn up for school the next day only a lil tired. but i only went for a movie last night and now i feel like a zombie. thank god there's half day today! should i sleep? should i watch movies online? should i chiong 2x? LOL.

mehhh. *is braindead* i should get back to work. XD

p/s. i wish they'll hurry up and catch the bloody escaped fugitive. those searches and the morning rains are causing me to be late for work! :(

backstabbers, maple, WATERHORSE

sometimes i rather people show me they don't like me right from the start. that way, at least, i know what they're thinking of. 1 minute they're all so nice and friendly and caring, and next, someone else tells you about the bad stuff they said about you. is it sarcasm, or bad mood? but if you need someone to vent it on, i'd rather you throw it straight in my face. haiz. times when i don't know whether ignorance is bliss.

i'm gonna be on leave soon again! ^^ time to chiong 2x again. hehe. when training at gobies is practically lag-free now (cept' for stoopid avatar messengers and when someone pops into the map), i'm soo inclined to chiong chiong chiong! 20 more levels! omigosh i can't believe i'm spending so much time and money on maple. someone stop mee please! XD

movies, dining, shopping, & movies again. more spending! :) i need more money. i need more time. i need more life. lol. why do i have so many complaints? no can do. be contented girl!went to catch waterhorse just now. nice show! it's about the loch ness monster. i think the little boy acted wayy better than the woman who played his mother. lol. and ben chaplin is hott! :p for its funny and heart-stopping moments, i'd say, go watch it la. also saw the trailer for indiana jones. tempted to watch that one too. tsk.

horton next week. like, finally? lol. cheer up cher, miss you gals. (:

random happiness

i'm in a slightly better mood. here's why. let's hope it lasts.

i wonder why something like maple can cheer me up, when practically everything else gets me down. oh wells. waterhorse tml! yay. looking forward to horton with either one of the gals. quick quick make up your minds! lolx.

expensive porkchop

yes yes, i'm using a skin made by someone else, basically because one, they make it so much nicer than me, two, i'm lazy to fix my own, and three, i rather maple. lols. i'll start making another one this weekend if i decide to take a break from mapling. not likely though, and i like this one. lol.

i had actually blogged a whole chunk of stuff this afternoon at work, ready to post once i uploaded screenshots. (i was planning to get the 20 million meso porkchop.) somehow my mood was ruined before i even started to protect the pig. initially wanted to quit, but since i was already outside, i went all the way. 45 mins and 20 million mesos later, i finally got the tamade tamable hog. it was cute, though i was already feeling it was 20 million wasted. on my way to gobies, lag caused me to swim straight into a bone fish. -.- so i died. wasn't even on piggyback. haiz. mood isn't too good now. hopefully training later will brighten things up.

i wonder why i'm always in a not-so-good mood nowadays. i guess i need my gals. T_T

-edit-
don't play maple when you're in an irritable mood, or you'll end up like me, dying THREE f**king times without charm. totally NOT happy now. leave me alone. no joke.

today started out pretty well. i was notified that i might be able to go on leave again tml. was rather happy cos i can chiong maple. then i came across this interesting cv while browsing old resumes for shredding. he included his picture, contact details, education and work experiences etc, but he forgot to write his NAME! rofl.

come lunch. was a little pissed to hear from esther something i didn't wanna know. i hate office politics. if you don't give me work to do, it's not right to complain that i'm not doing work. zzZz. is tony on my side, or hers? *ponders* anyway, thanks esther! =]

then someone else decides to piss me off even more. the other day i was already offended; today he made it worse. haiz.

end of the day, i realized i don't get to go on leave tml after all. tsk.

i'm supposed to be ecstatic that i managed to fix my maple, but somehow, my mood is so totally ruined. will you people stop getting on my nerves already?! >:(

first of all, f**k wizet. for creating a game client that DOES NOT work. i'm pissed. i'm this close to my goal and it had to screw up. do not mention maple unless it has anything to do with solving my problem. perfect time to quit maple. -.-'''

my laptop's screwed up as well. need to reformat and more external ram. haiz.

nothing seems to be going my way. getting lesser and lesser work to do too. guess my time at NTU's gonna be up soon. time to look for another job. please x3 let me get into any darn course. i miss school. ><

there are other stuff, but i don't wanna mention. haiz.

i need to quit maple!! lol. it's eating wayy too much of my time. *eeks* but still...

[ random screenshots ]

painful and pot-consuming, but it was fun. died twice after that, so exp remains sickeningly at 0.00%. -.- 2 more levels! ><

nothing much to blog nowadays. all of a sudden, i'm missing the girls, and school, and you.

我只想知道你快不快乐

有没有遇见更懂你的人

ooh-ya-
闭上眼风在吹
又是这个季节我只想知道你快不快乐
有没有遇见更懂你的人
ooh-ya-
阳光下好想念
你微笑的眼神

选好旅行的地点
才想起那是你的心愿
不知不觉我始终把你的话
放在我心里面
错过的从前
我好想对你说抱歉
爱过的人
还住在记忆中
一直没有说再见

爱
恨
都已不再

嗯---

我只是不能不关心你
我只是想听你的声音
错过的从前
我好想对你说抱歉
爱过的人
还住在记忆中
一直没有说再见

left office at 5.45pm, reach home at 7.30pm. a whopping 1hr 45mins just on travel. fuck SBS / SMRT / LTA! &$##(&(#^is cold, hungry, and tired. needs something to cheer her up. T_T

偶然经过那条街
熟悉的气味令人怀念
也许只有我的心
比当时老一点
错过的从前
能不能回头说抱歉
这么些年我一直还记得

那些欠你的誓言

we started as friends
but something happened inside me
now i'm reading into everything
but there's no sign you really like me, baby

you don't ever notice me turning on my charm
or wonder why i'm always where you are

i've made it obvious
done everything but sing it
(i've crushed on you so long, but on and on you get me wrong)
i'm not so good with words
and since you never notice
the way that we belong
i'll say it in a love song

i've heard you talk about (heard you talk about)
how you want someone just like me (just like me)
everytime i ask you out (time i ask you out)
we never move pass friendly, no no

you don't ever notice how i stare when we're alone
or wonder why i keep you on the phone

i've made it obvious
done everything but sing it
(i've crushed on you so long, but on and on you get me wrong)
i'm not so good with words
and since you never notice
the way that we belong
i'll say it in a love song

you are my very first thought in the morning
and my last at nightfall
you are the love that came without warning
i need you, i want you to know

i've made it obvious
so finally i sing it
(i've crushed on you so long)
i'm not so good with words
since you never notice
the way that we belong
i'll say it in a love song

the love song i'll sing it until the day you're holding me
i've wanted you so long but on and on you get me wrong
i more than adore you but since you never seem to see

since you never seem to see
i'll say it in this love song

maple's sucking up too much of my time and money lately. i should have quited it when i had the chance. >.< 5 more levels to enter 3-digit-world. gambade!

work is getting more and more bearable cos i realized esther's on the same page as me! like yesterday, i was thinking of going to the cafe for lunch cos i miss their bento. since me and esther always go to canteen b, i wondered if i should go alone or not. but come lunchtime, she asked me if it was okay to go to the cafe instead. woohoo~ hahax. and yes, we enjoy bitching together. xD

i'm liking tony more and more too. he's really funny. lols. he's probably one of the nicest bosses i've met so far. it's always such a pleasure to do things for him. lalala.

met up with cher and zhu yesterday. new dining hangout to add on to my list - new york new york. love their alfredo sauce. hehex. that and roasted chicken tasted heavenly, unless perhaps, i was too starved to bother. zhu's oreo shake was nicee too. must try!

went shopping instead of pubbing after that. saw this really nice pink wallet. 30+ bucks. so tempted to get. why wasn't i in retail therapy mode at that time? gosh. my goal for next month would probably be: DO NOT take any random leaves, maximize salary, and crazy shopping spree end of the month! lols.

*sleeps*